5th Graders and Writing to Evoke Emotion through Word Choice

The words we choose in writing can create a positive result or a negative result. Most good writers hope to pull the reader in through touching their emotions, which happens through good word choice and good descriptions.

One of my favorite ways to share this is to reread a section of A Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. (She's such a great author, one I turn to frequently!) There's a particular scene that I love to share with the class, the one where Despereaux realizes that instead of eating the book, he can read it. DiCamillo's word choice and description build a beautiful picture in my head of a tiny mouse standing amazed before a book that suddenly opens a whole new world for him. I can actually see him standing in the book-filled room with dust motes floating on sunbeams and his sister stomping off angrily.

After reading aloud this section to the class, I ask them to sit knee-to-knee and discuss the scene and what made it come alive for them. (I always make sure to read it aloud with great voice and drama to enhance the scene for the students.)

Then I like share some writing samples on the overhead that show poor word choice and ask them to help me improve it with their input. Finally, I give the students their own writing sample for them to edit for better word choice.

It seems like I use a lot of samples for us to correct together, but I think this is a good chance for me to model and then the students to practice the skill in a supported fashion.

Fifth Grade Writing Standard:

12. Add and delete information and details to better elaborate on a stated central idea and to more effectively accomplish purpose.
13. Rearrange words, sentences and paragraphs, and add transitional words and phrases to clarify meaning.
14. Use resources and reference materials (e.g., dictionaries and thesauruses) to select more effective vocabulary

Writing for purpose in 5th Grade and Using Good Word Choice

I love the poem "Little Abigail and the Beautiful Pony," by Shel Silverstein. It's in his collection of poetry called The Light in the Attic.

In this poem Abigail wants a pony so badly that she tells her parents that she'll just die if they don't buy her one. Poor Abigail dies in the end after being unable to convince her parents to give in to her demands.

After reading the poem aloud, I ask the students to explain why they think Abigail's parents didn't give her a pony. A little discussion later, we usually agree that Abigail didn't ask her parents in the best way. Instead of demanding, maybe she should have asked them and given reasons why giving her a pony was a good idea.

This leads to a discussion of writing with a purpose. In Abigail's case, she really wanted to persuade her parents to do something. The students have already agreed that Abigail could have done better with a different approach, which I explain is really author's purpose.

The students are common with the idea of author's purpose and by now can identify it pretty consistently in other's writing. The idea of actually setting out with a purpose and an audience in mind is harder for them to appy to their own writing, as they always see me, the teacher with the grading pen as the actual audience.

I use this poem as a springboard for small group discussion where the students talk about how they would have approached their own parents. Then I ask them to take the time to pretend they are Abigail and to write a short, persuasive letter to her parents asking for the beautiful pony.

We take turns sharing these letters, enjoying each other's reasons why a pony would be a good thing for Abigail. Then I wrap it up by explaining that in writing the letter to Abigail's parents, they used author's purpose. Plus, they phrased it in the best way possible to convince her parents by using words guaranteed to get a positive reaction. That's using good word choice.

I love this poem and the good results I get from this lesson. A great follow up activity is to get the class to write a persuasive letter asking for a change, such as requiring students to wear uniforms to school or letting school out early on Fridays.

Ohio Fifth Grade Writing Standards:

3. Write letters that state the purpose, make requests or give compliments and use business letter format.
9. Vary language and style as appropriate to audience and purpose.
12. Add and delete information and details to better elaborate on a stated central idea and to more effectively accomplish purpose.
13. Rearrange words, sentences and paragraphs, and add transitional words and phrases to clarify meaning.